Better Late than Never - An Introduction

A few people have made the mistake of saying I'm funny and that I have missed my true calling in stand-up (comedy, I'm assuming). Whether they actually mean it or they were just trying to stroke my ego is completely irrelevant at this point - they said I'm funny, it went to my head and now this blog has been born. 

I guess I should introduce my family, since they're the ones I blame for knocking a few of my screws loose. Here we go:

Now here's a story, of a lovely lady...who...crap...wrong family. 

Up until almost a year ago, I was a divorced mom of four and Larry was a divorced father of two. Now we're a blended family of six kids, plus one foreign-exchanged student, three cats, one dog and we're expecting a baby girl any day now. 

That's a shorter version of the story than you were expecting, wasn't it? This is just my way of reeling you in...I leave you wanting more so than you'll obsessively stalk my blog, waiting for me to share moments and insight on how our family is managed so well that I still have the ability to string together the sentences needed to continue publishing posts. 

To make you feel more complete, how about I share some random facts with you?

• I am a big fan of using ellipses. I use them...a lot
• If you spell "a lot" incorrectly, I will disown you (and if you weren't related to me to begin with, I'll adopt you and then disown you)
• One teenage boy smells bad. Three teenage boys sharing the same bedroom can create a funk so awful, I have my dog breathe in my face to help erase the memory of the smell. Dog breath is much more preferable. No exaggeration.
• My husband has ninja-like sperm
• A 12 year old girl who is already mean to begin with can make a whole house full of men cry when these three letters are uttered - P M S 
• Moving where I store the snack foods and cereal can create mass havoc, which is all kinds of fun for me