It's Almost Like We Don't Even Have Cable

A few weeks ago, Brandon (my clueless, oblivious, sometimes forgotten youngest) comes into the living room and is like "hey mommy, I think I have a bug bite". Why I didn't take pictures is beyond me, but it looked like he was attacked by an army of spiders. And everywhere he was bitten was pretty much twice the size as normal - chin, eye, arm, leg  - so half of him looked like a Thanksgiving Day float.

Cut to a few hour later as I was cooking dinner. I saw an awfully guilty looking spider on the ceiling. It was also a very scary looking spider so we decided to catch it so we could get a closer look and figure out what kind it was (and by "we", I mean Thad caught it).

Thankfully, I happened to have a mucous specimen trap handy from when a customer and I were arguing back and forth about whether or not a certain competitor's version had a screw off bottom and I was like "nuh-uh" and he was like "uh-huh" and I was like "nuh-uh" and so he mailed it to me and I opened the package and I was all like "haha...I'm right and you're wrong". And this is why I'm such a rock star at work.

Back to the spider.

We caught him (it has to be a he, girl spiders would be pretty and covered in glitter and not have an angry mean face marking on her spider ass). Turns out this spider is a biter, but not dangerous. Did we let it go? Nooo...we caught another spider and gave him a spider friend to play with. We watched them ignore each other for hours, and then BAM! Ugly spider attacked slightly less ugly spider.

Then we caught (and again, the "we" actually implies Thad caught it...I just want it to look like I was included in all the brave spider catching business) another ugly spider. And watched the two of them play/ignore/have dirty spider sex (or at least that's what we think they were doing) for two weeks.

We found this way super exciting.

This past Monday, we come home to an even BIGGER ugly spider.

 And we caught it. Now there are three ugly spiders in the specimen trap.

Um, correction...BIGGER ugly spider totally killed big ugly spider and smaller ugly spider. And then he ate their butts.

Yes, really.

I wonder if it's because he thought they were making mean faces at him and he doesn't realize that's actually their markings. And if he could see his own ass, he'd realize he has the same ones.

As entertaining as we've been finding this, I'm sure the assumption is that we must not have cable or even electricity. But we do.